Redemption
by marval3
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERS INSIDE - Natasha won't let him be the one.


Natasha knew that she would be the one.

Throughout her life she had done things that are unforgivable and if her friend dies because of her, there's no saying she won't soon follow.

Clint Barton is her anchor. If everything goes to hell she knows she can rely on him. He will always have her back, no question. We've known each other through thick and thin, through all the secrets and lies. And because of that Natasha knew he would be the one to offer himself up, and be a stubborn ass about it as well.

"Like hell you're doing it."

She eyed Clint, giving him a long stare. "Come on Clint you can't blame yourself for what you did. Jumping off that cliff won't redeem you, you have to forgive yourself."

The space between his brows creased and he cocked his head. "How can I forgive myself? If…When I get my family back how can I touch them with these hands? They're the hands of a murderer."

Natasha's eyes darted towards the ground, blinking rapidly to try and stop the tears. She cleared her throat and looked back towards Clint, meeting his broken expression. Her hands reached out and she took ahold of his. "These hands are the hands of my friend, someone who I trust, a father and _definitely not _a murderer."

He leaned back slightly, as if he was considering her words.

There was a period of silence that followed and Natasha grew worried that she hadn't gotten through to him. But she also began to think that this would be a good time to do it.

Clint had taken a seat on a rock; his elbows propped on his knees leading to his fists holding up his head. He didn't seem to be paying attention.

And so she started to walk. Casually at first, making it seem like she was just drifting around. And once she was behind him she broke into a sprint. Her feet pounded against the rock, creating noise which no doubt revealed her plan.

She had barely past Clint when a projectile flew in front of her, too fast for her eyes to catch. The explosion was sudden. Bright light flashed before her sending her flying backwards; she rolled to a stop colliding with a rock. The blast had been deafening, the noise resounding in her eardrums caused a high-pitched ringing to explode inside her head but quickly fading away. Natasha gathered her bearings in time to see Clint above her.

He gave her a grim smile. "I do appreciate it but, I have to do this."

Her mouth drifted open, astounded. Clint turned his back to her going to walk away and she took that as an opportunity.

Natasha swept her leg out knocking into Clint's feet, sending him stumbling to the ground. She pulled out her weapon and electrocuted him. As he seized on the ground, they met eyes. Her lips tugged into a remorseful smile. "Sorry, but it has to be me.

For the second time she began the walk towards her death.

Natasha paused at the cliff face, staring down at the deep plunge. She looked over at the red faced guardian who wore a black cloak that resembled a grim reaper. She wondered if he was here to guide those who are sacrificed to either heaven or hell. And her stomach twisted into knots thinking about which one she would get.

It was time now. One leg rested in the air, a strong gust of wind swayed her but she maintained her balance.

"Whatever it takes."

Her body moved forward, ready to fall, but two arms wrapped around her mid jerking her back. The scenery whirled as Clint spun her around so it was him between her and the cliff. He deposited her gently, and from the look on his face she knew what was happening next.

Clint Barton backed up, and jumped off the cliff.

Natasha stood there for a split second, the shock setting in and numbness filling her. But her instincts took over and she cleared the rest of the distance following her friend.

The thoughts in her mind when she went over were jumbled. But she knew that Clint wouldn't go through with it if he saw her falling as well.

Air felt like ice against her face as she fell, hitting it and making it hard to breathe. Natasha squinted her eyes and saw Clint was still a measurable distance away. She tucked her arms in, angling her body forward to increase the speed of her descent. When she appeared next to him an array of emotions flashed across his face. But like she predicted, he seized her wrist and flung his grappling hook up securing them both.

Their bodies hit the stone wall roughly, swinging momentarily before the rope stilled. He looked down at her, his brows drawn together tight. Pain filled his voice as he spoke, "Why'd you have to do that Nat?"

Although it wouldn't be said they both knew that grappling hook wouldn't hold for long.

She smiled, trying to make light of the situation. "I can't let you die Clint. I can't."

His eyes glassed over and he spoke in an accusatory tone, "Do you think I want to let you die? Nat–" His emotions got the best of him and he stopped talking.

Natasha glanced down, taking in the fall once again. Hopefully it would be over quick. She pulled at the hold around her arm, only for Clint to tighten his grip when he realized what she was doing.

Clint violently shook his head. "Nat stop it — stop! Natasha!" His face had grown red as he yelled her name more, his tears welled up trailing down his cheeks.

Since he wasn't letting go, Natasha moved to stand on the mountain side. She steeled her gaze trying to conceal the gnawing fear inside her.

Clint was at a loss, his eyes hopelessly flickering around knowing what was next but didn't know how to stop it. Natasha pressed her lips into a line, nodding to her friend. "Goodbye Clint."

And she pushed off, yanking her hand back at the same time. The weight from the drop was too much and her wrist slipped from his hand. Clint's tormented cries reached her ears and she squeezed her eyes shut. The end would approach rapidly.

Redemption can never be solved with killing oneself. It begins with forgiveness. But if one commits the most horrendous crimes perhaps suicide is the only way. Natasha had contemplated the easy way out in her past. Red is still in her ledger and possibly she could never clean it, that fact had led her down dark paths. But that was before she had a family. Clint and the team were there for her to lean on. If they were gone she wouldn't know what to do.

With her death they would survive.

And that's enough.


End file.
